Build and Maintain A Successful Marriage Using These 8 Tips

It seems like yesterday I was reciting my wedding vows:

"To have and to hold...for richer...for poorer...till death do us part...before God and my family, I pledge faith."

After you say "I do," life seems so blissful, but what happens after the honeymoon phase? How do you sustain your marriage? What can you contribute to ensure longevity of your union?

Listen, here are 8 promising tips that will attribute to the success of a marriage.

In every marriage, there willbe times when you get upset with your partner. There will be disappointing oments. Sometimes, you may grow frustrated. Let's face it, marriage is hard work. Nevertheless, no matter how many negative emotions you may experience in your marriage, you should experience more happy times than not.

There should be more positive experiences and good memories that make you cling just a little closer to your mate. If the happy meter is low, think of ways to bring joy and laughter back into your marriage. For example, reflect on the good times, watch a funny movie, act silly, hit the town for some fun, or have a stare-off contest. Bottom line, a couple that laughs together, stays together.

Communication is key. Sometimes, we listen to respond. But, how often do we actively listen to reflect on what someone has said and then respond? Not too often. Conversations can sometimes become a race at who can make a point the quickest. The most effective way to communicate is to give your spouse all of your attention and listen. Take a second to process information before talking.

When you are ready to speak, offer a reflection of what your spouse has shared. For instance, you may want to say, "so, I heard you say...is this correct?" or,

"What I believe you are trying to say is..." Make sure you've heard your spouse correctly before proceeding with the conversation. Once your spouse confirms that your reflection is accurate, respond. It is so rewarding when the message you are trying to deliver is received by the listener. It truly shows that the speaker and listener are hearing and sharing the same information...in sync.

Marriage is about compromising, sharing and embracing your partner's differences. You should be willing to get a little uncomfortable to please your partner and learn about yourself in the process.

You won't even know if you don't like something unless you try. It is okay to look a little silly or make a mistake for the purpose of trying, compromising, exploring and creating memories with your spouse.

Couples should take turns at doing something outside of their comfort zone. Give it a shot and watch how your marriage will grow.

It's quite simple - keep people ou of your personal business. Your marriage is sacred and should be honored as well as protected. It is not wise to share your business with associates, family, and most certainly not social media. Everyone does not have your best interest in mind and those who do may not have the proper tools, insights, or counsel to provide, especially when you and your spouse are experiencing a rough patch.

Be very carefuland selective in whom you share you share your personal business. If you have a confidante, counselor, life coach or trusted individual who possesses the tools, insights, or counsel needed to help you out, then that is great and it is okay to share information. If not, I say, keep your business private. You will be happy you did in the long run.

continue to do nice things. Sometimes, couples take each other for granted, forgetting or neglecting to show appreciation. I believe that once you've lost gratitude, you've lost gratitude and respect for your spouse. In turn, your spouse could become offended, upset, sad, disappointed or resentful. We definitely do not want anyone feeling disrespected or overlooked in marriage, as that can lead to a disconnect...and you know the rest. The moral of the story is to be kind. Be thoughtful. Be considerate. Be respectful. Be grateful. Say "thank you" and mean it.

Having some time away form your spouse is healthy. As the saying goes, "absences make the heart grow fonder." Space will truly cause you to miss your spouse. Space allows you an opportunity to regroup, reset, and rejuvenate. When you're at your best, your spouse will reap the benefits. Use space as a chance to learn, grow, and better connect with your spouse.

A wise man once said, "I just alled to say I lvoe you" - (Stevie Wonder). If you truly want your marriage to be successful, show and express love towards your partner more often than not. Saying "I love you," is a verbal form of commitment to the marriage. Expressing love can evoke powerful feelings of joy, emotional and spiritual intimacy and a sense of security.